If you feel overwhelmed, confused or stuck, consumed by worry and anxiety, weighed down by low mood or need support to cope with disruptive or disorienting life changes, counselling can really help.

People come to counselling for many different reasons. Some people come to therapy when something happens in their life that means they feel they can no longer cope with things in the same way. Others notice a gradual onset over time of feeling down much of the time, no longer enjoying things you used to, struggling to motivate yourself, worrying constantly, avoiding situations because they feel overwhelming, or simply feeling stuck.

You don’t have to be in crisis or have experienced a major traumatic event to benefit from therapy. Counselling can help if you

Some signs that you may benefit from counselling include:

• Overwhelming emotions – Feeling anxious, tearful, hopeless, irritable or unusually angry much of the time.
• Physical symptoms – Changes in your sleep, appetite or energy levels, or experiencing tension, headaches, neck, shoulder or back pain, nausea or stomach problems that may be linked to stress.
• Withdrawing from others – Isolating yourself from family or friends or losing interest in activities you once enjoyed.
• Life transitions – Finding it difficult to cope with bereavement, relationship breakdown, becoming a parent, job loss, illness or other significant life changes.
• Feeling stuck – Recognising unhelpful patterns in your life or relationships but not knowing how to change them.

Many people wonder whether their problems are “bad enough” to justify counselling. You may have been coping on your own for years, or perhaps you’ve recently realised that things can’t continue as they are. Whatever has brought you here, it’s completely to question whether therapy is the right step.

The fact that you’re asking yourself whether you need counselling may be telling you something important. Perhaps you’re carrying more than you realise, or you’ve reached a point where you want things to feel different. I encourage you to listen to yourself and trust your instincts.

If you’re still unsure, Psychology Today has a helpful “Do I Need Therapy?“ quiz that may help you decide whether counselling could be beneficial.

Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming. There are thousands of counsellors and psychotherapists to choose from, and it’s not always obvious where to begin. The good news is that there are a few simple things you can consider that will help narrow down your options.

It doesn’t have to be perfect

Choosing a therapist can feel like a huge decision. You may already be feeling anxious or overwhelmed, and then suddenly you’re faced with hundreds of profiles, different qualifications, therapeutic approaches and websites. It’s understandable if you don’t know where to start.

While it’s sensible to make sure a therapist is appropriately qualified and belongs to a recognised professional body, you don’t have to become an expert in counselling before you can choose someone.

If reading lots of profiles and comparing different approaches feels overwhelming, try to keep it simple. Arrange an introductory call with one or two therapists whose websites or profiles you are drawn to and notice how you feel during and after the call.

Ask yourself:

• Did I feel comfortable enough to talk?
• Did I feel listened to and understood?
• Did they seem warm, genuine and accepting?
• Can I imagine opening up to this person over time?

You don’t need to know whether you’ve found the “perfect” therapist after one conversation, and you certainly don’t need to have all the right questions prepared. Most people feel nervous during an introductory call, and a good therapist will understand that.

Ultimately, the relationship you build with your therapist is far more important than choosing the “perfect” therapeutic approach. If you come away feeling heard, accepted and hopeful, that’s often a very good place to start.

If you finish the conversation feeling a little lighter, a little more understood, and with a sense that this person “gets you”, that’s often a better guide than trying to compare lots of different theories and approaches.

Start with the practicalities

Ask yourself:

• Would I prefer in-person or online sessions?
• What is my budget?
• Does the therapist work with the issues I want support with?
• What qualifications and experience do they have?
• Does their approach and way of describing therapy feel right for me?

Check their qualifications

Many people are surprised to learn that the titles counsellor, psychotherapist and therapist are not legally protected in the UK. This means that, technically, anyone can use these titles.

For your own peace of mind, it’s worth choosing someone who has completed recognised training and belongs to a professional body such as BACP, COSCA or UKCP. These organisations set professional and ethical standards and help ensure that therapists provide safe, competent and accountable practice.

Consider their experience

If you know what you’d like to work on, you may prefer someone with experience in that area. Equally, if you’re part of a particular community, it can feel reassuring to choose a therapist who understands your experiences or clearly welcomes people from your community.

For example, if you identify as LGBTQIA+, you may wish to find a therapist who has specific knowledge and experience of working with LGBTQIA+ clients. Specialist directories such as Pink Therapy can be a helpful place to look.

Before arranging a call, you can often learn a lot from a therapist’s website, directory profile or social media. Notice how they talk about their work and whether their values and approach align with yours.

The relationship matters most

Research consistently shows that the strongest predictor of successful therapy isn’t a particular therapeutic approach—it’s the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist.

Many therapists offer a free 15–20 minute introductory phone or video call. This is a chance to ask questions and, perhaps more importantly, to notice how you feel with them.

You might ask yourself:

• Did I feel listened to?
• Did they help me feel at ease?
• Did I feel understood rather than judged?
• Can I imagine trusting this person over time?
• Do I feel they genuinely want to help me?

Trust develops gradually, so you don’t need to feel completely comfortable straight away. However, it’s worth paying attention to your instincts. Feeling accepted, understood and emotionally safe provides the foundation for meaningful therapeutic work.

As the research tells us:

“Genuineness, empathy, positive regard and collaboration are key to developing a strong therapeutic alliance and are reliable predictors of improved outcomes.” (Flückiger et al., 2019)

If you’d like to explore this further, the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) has published an excellent guide called What Works in Counselling and Psychotherapy Relationships.